I have a lump in my throat this morning and it could well be grief over the complete loss of my POA's.
Last night i had my first healing prayer counselling session and we prayed to have the soul ties that connected me to all my ex's broken and for God to come between me and those relationships.
The description that helps us see what happens when we bond sexually with another is of jam and marmite. If you put jam on one hand and marmite on the other and rub them together they stick to one another when you pull your hands apart so that you have jam and marmite on each hand all mixed up together.
This is what happend when we bond sexually with another and we are left traumatised when the relationship doesn't become a lifelong one. This is esp true for women.
I recieved prayer for every sexual relationship i have had to break that soul tie to each man and for the cross of Jesus to come between me and my POA so that i can be set free and take back my self esteem and dignity.
What a powerful experience this was for me. I'm told in time i will begin to feel the freedom that i've been given from these relationships being severed once and for all.
I am open to finally grieving them now so that i can move forward with MY life.
Post by gratefulheart on May 7, 2010 17:32:02 GMT -8
That was one of the most beautiful stories I've heard since being in recovery. I am going to pray for the same as well. I know that God will take care of me and that Jesus has justified me. I don't want to be in bondage to this addiction anymore nor the slave to any man but to God. He has brought me so far and has forgiven my indiscretions. I need Him to help me break the soul ties that connect me to my past sin, trauma and addiction.
Aww how wonderful GH that it touched you so deeply. Do you have anyone at church who can pray this breaking of the soul ties over you? Its about regaining yourself totally and i'm told in a couple of weeks i will begin to feel set free once my brain accepts the bondage has been broken.
I've been having some sexual dreams since which are about me giving myself to men on one night stands which i have never actually done so my mind is trying to figure out whats happened but like you say we now belong with God whilst he heals us well enough to find a healthy relationship one day perhaps.
Post by CodepNomore on Nov 15, 2012 4:34:53 GMT -8
Naturelover, writing a letter to your exes will just create nothing but more drama. Better to just write it all down in your personal journal, end it there and move on.
Your recovery is worth the pain of your withdrawal. Remember that "the pain you feel today will be the strength you feel tomorrow." Fantasy-based relationship is a lie. Face your reality and stay well!Kind Regards to all LAA members here, - Codepnomore
It has been validating to read your messages here. I woke this morning thanking God for the protection that I am receiving each time there is No contact. Instead of obsessing, I redirect my thoughts toward my Higher Power and say my prayer- "thank you for protecting me; please continue to protect me" For any contact w/ poa will surely cause me to torment - and be a barrier to the life that I am meant to have. I am grateful for the circle of protection that my HP has placed around me. R