I'll try to edit / rephrase your first paragraph for readability. I had difficulty understanding it.
I have noticed there are not a whole lot of common-every-day guys talking about feelings in my own life, but I kind of thought that I probably came to accept things that were unacceptable because of my whole dysfunctional family background. The problem is there is not much out there for this in popular culture. Sure there is a movement from some women who want their guy to be more in touch with his emotions, but what the women really mean is for their man to be in touch with being able to express how much they love them. Not many women go on to teach their own boys that it is okay to cry when they need to and not many women are interested in hearing how their flirting with someone else affects how we men feel. Things like that are supposed to trigger us to "be a man." To pull ourselves together and take charge or be more dominant to "prove" ourselves and how much we care. Telling a woman you care is never enough for most.
You have to follow on that with some sort of action for any meaning. And we men train ourselves that feelings do not matter and words alone are not enough. This often only becomes further compounded when we meet women, whom we are led to believe will help us deal with all the stuff guys do not talk about, only further perpetuate our insecurities and reinforce preconceived notions of masculinity. That they will understand without us expressing it and know that when we do, both the severity of our expressed emotion and the openness we're allowing ourselves to be with them, is an action we take, that women often either take as "wrong" or are so inherently used to this being acceptable behavior, that they do not realize the depth of feelings behind a man's actions which just took place.
In my opinion, the great thing about LAA is that it helps both men and women face their own fantasies about their relationships with others, learn how to open up and express their true emotions, learn how to take care of themselves rather than looking for someone else to take care of them, with a much better, adult relationship from both sides as the end result.
Last Edit: Apr 24, 2021 8:35:20 GMT -8 by Susan P.
Not many women go on to teach their own boys that it is okay to cry when they need to and not many women are interested in hearing how their flirting with someone else affects how we men feel.
There is a lot I regret about my poor parenting when my son was growing up. He is now 50 and still wounded. When he was 12 we drove up to the California state baseball championship. My son's last time at bat was the determining factor in losing the game. In the drive home he started crying. Instead of comforting him I said, "Stop crying." I would give anything to take that make.
The book Real Boys taught me that it is the mothers who do not want their sons to cry. This is true in my opinion. In my opinion women give men mixed messages. On one hand they want them to be strong and be there to protect them. At the same time, they complain that they are not emotional enough. This was actually proven in a survey they took of what women want from a man. When it comes to expressing emotions, I am glad I am not a man. To the guys out there be strong enough to cry.