Post by Raniece on Apr 12, 2021 9:36:53 GMT -8
Creating A New Healthy Imago
Everybody has an Imago, but if you grew up in a loving home, and your Imago is a good person, things may work out when you meet him or her. But love addicts always have a “Negative Imago,” which is unavailable, narcissistic, selfish, controlling, and unable to reciprocate your love.
As we journey toward recovery, putting love and relationships into their proper perspectives, we want to look at the qualities that attracted us to our partners or qualifiers, list them and look for common themes. After you list all the qualities that attracted you to the past four qualifiers, list: physical, emotional, spiritual, personality traits and how they made you feel that drew you to them. Once we have the traits down, we can begin to determine which traits are part of our negative imago, the ones that are bad for us and need to let go. We can then make a list of the traits from our imago that we can keep.
You may want to involve and talk to your inner child during this process. Since the creation of this imago happened slowly over your childhood, based on significant people in your life and figures presented in movies and books about romantic love. Sometime, in early adolescence, your Imago is finished, and you go hunting for him or her. You never stop looking no matter how old you get, talk to your inner child about creating a new, Healthy Imago. There will be less excitement and drama, but this is better than having to go into withdrawal again with another Imago. And while may always be attracted to our old imago, but with enough recovery, we can learn to become attracted to our new, healthy one.
Things That Attracted Me to Partners
Traits That Are Bad For Me
Traits I Can Keep
Ex: alpha male, power, physically attractive, smart Ex: alpha male/controlling Ex: smart, attractive
Below you will find the attachment as a word document to download and fill in:
Imago.docx (31.37 KB)