I often talk about the original wound which is the neglect and abuse you suffered as a child. What comes out of the wound differs from person to person. Some people become people-pleasers. Others get angry. Some get anxious and depressed. But what happens next is even more important. I call it the primary wound. This is called the separation of self or self-alienation. This leads to desperately searching for yourself in others. Finally we end up addicted to someone. Love addiction is not really about true love. It is a disorder of the Self.
The solution is what I call a homecoming or a self-unification. It heals the original wound, to a degree, and launches you to into self-actualization or reaching your full potential.
You may think you are in LAA to find healthy love but it starts with self-unification. You can do this through inner child work if you want Once you have accomplished this you will be ready to love in healthy ways.
I found self-unification through my spirituality. Once I realized that I might be lovable I began my journey. This was a decision I made. Then I found out God loved me. Finally, I was able to love myself and the rest is history . . .