I don't feel well at all when I am not in a relationship. I feel like there is no point. I don't know what is wrong with me. I feel like I don't want to be here
When children are traumatized they lose a sense of self. They are estranged from themselves. This emptiness leads to desire to connect with someone else to feel alive. Without a sense of self the relationship is always one sided and can lead to addiction. The loss of self is a core wound which must be healed in recovery.
In the section on self-esteem there are a list of things to do to develop a sense of self. I found my lost self through inner child work. I found it an easy way to love myself by loving my inner child.
Once you find yourself and reunite you will feel better. You will be whole. You will not be lonely anymore and you can be patient while you wait for love to come along and you won't be needy when it does.
A relationship to ease your depression is what we call a "quick fix." It does not heal you in the long run.
Some people need a spiritual healing to find themselves. They learn they are loveable because God loves them. Then they can love themselves. This was true for me.
There is a point to your life, you have just not found it. You are looking outside of yourself when it lies within.
We are glad you are here and that you reached out. Ready, study, post and heal.
Change is to human life what the metamorphosis is to the caterpillar; it is the inevitable cycle of life. If there is no change, there is no life. The Art of Changing by Susan Peabody.