I am a regular on a general social website. On the whole, I think I’ve done well at staying within appropriate boundaries - I’ve said up front that I’m in a relationship and am not interested in playing games with men. So far, so good.
I even have a couple of safe male friends there, with whom nothing inappropriate has ever happened.
So the other day, a man PM’d me. He’s super-smart, interesting, etc.
Yet, I didn’t answer him for a whole day after getting his PM. I am all too aware that this is one of the main ways I’ve gotten in trouble in the past. Online guys who are intelligent, educated, have a wry sense of humor....they’re like honey to a bee, for me.
So, I debated what to do. I never want to act out again. Ever. But I can’t realistically avoid the whole male half of the human race forever.
I checked out his profile. He’s included a statement that begins, “I am happily married and have no interest...”, etc. So, I felt safer then, and I answered.
Now it occurs to me that a lot of the men who have hit on me online are married. That doesn’t seem to stop them.
So far, this man and I have had purely platonic, non-personal conversations. I really, really want it to stay that way. So - to keep myself accountable - I am posting about it here.
Just a thought....but what if you focused on finding/maintaining friendships with other women instead of men, eliminate the temptation altogether? Certainly no need to avoid males forever, but it might be more relaxing and fulfilling to have these interactions with women. Good idea with the accountability
Coming in very late to this discussion, it's been my experience that there are certain women you will get along well with. Remember me preaching on relationship charts? When I did my relationship chart in the Permian era, I figured in women I had close relationships with. Seems that my "platonic" relationships with women skew towards a certain type of woman in certain life circumstances. Que Surprise!!!
That’s interesting. I, too, tend to have a “type” of woman friend. They are usually more outgoing and talkative and energetic than I am. I have been told on more than one occasion that I have a calming effect on people!