Step 3- I came to believe that a power greater than myself can restore meto sanity.
1.
How have I acted on self-will so far? Did my attempts to control
others or control my own emotions interfere with Higher Power taking care of me?
I am self willed and self directed. I do what I want, sometimes taking
directions for others that cause chaos in my life
A.Controlling- I try to control my environment and sometimes except
other to follow and do what I want them to do. Giving them
reminders of things they should know to do themselves.
B.Avoiding and isolating- I like to be alone and often spend hours alone when I should be sharingmy life with my husband and family.
C. Negative caretaking- I don take care of myself but try to take care
of others. I negative self talk, my self esteem is low
D.Using others – I use others by expecting them to be around when I
want. They end to control my ups and downs. I flirt with others on
occasion to make myself feel better.
E.Aggression - I have a temper and get easily angry when things
dont go as I expect them to go. I will destroy property that I later
regret.
F. Acting on impulse- I have ADD so Im very impulsive. I do
things before I think about what I am doing causing difficulties at
home and at my job.
G.Obsessing and acting out [calling, texting, emails] – I acted out
my bottom line behaviors and have little control over my obsessions and lack having a clear mind.
2.
How has acting on self-will affected my life?
A.
I have gotten in trouble at work. My home life is a painful place I don’t want to be.
3.
What fears and reservations do I have making this decision?
A.
That I will fail connecting with my HP.
4.
Can I make the decision to surrender myself to the care of a Higher Power with a willingness
to give up self-hatred and behavior that harms me, harms my health and prevents me from taking care of myself and my own
needs?
A.Yes, I can with prayer, meditation and my top line behaviors. I can let God guide me, my future
endeavors because I know that He can fix it and give me the stregth i need to continued
evolving into a sane person instead of the insanity I have been living.
Bow your head with a friend of mentor and recite the third step prayer.
Memorize it first. Reflect on how you feel right now and about how
far you have come.
Reflection- I have come a long way in understanding my behaviors. I understand
that have been powerless over love and my life has been very unmanageable with a/o
behaviors, I have self harmed in many ways by thinking the worse of myself, not taking
my meds as I should, harming myself physically and having uncontrollable fears that
weren’t warranted. But things are becoming easier to understand
through reading and speakig with others with the same afflictions in
group.
Thank you o providing me with clear directions and the information need for my recovery.
