I thought about copy-and-pasting the article here - it’s THAT good. But it’s better for the author if other people read it on Medium. I’ll give you a short excerpt:
“Toxic projections look like goals, but they are loaded with fantasy. Have a boyfriend by summer. Well…that relies on a lot of factors, and requires another human to agree. So if you talk to someone for a while, and then they decide it’s not right for them, and you haven’t achieved your goal…it’s not actually their fault. It’s your fault for creating a goal that required the consent of another person.
Have a job that makes X money. Be married by this time. Have a kid by that time. Make assumptions like ‘I made more money from my blog posts this month, so that must mean my blog income will continue increasing.’ Will it? Why? Why is that necessarily true?”