Post by Susan P. on Apr 12, 2019 9:54:08 GMT -8
Yesterday I started screaming at a woman. After I calmed down, I apologized and started wondering why I did that. I quickly realized I was projecting. What is that? It is when you are looking at someone in the present and seeing someone from the past.
In this particular case, I was seeing my mother who used to be too busy to help me. I had three siblings and that took up a lot of her time, so she had reason to be busy. My mother was fragile and eventually she ended up in a mental institution. As a self-centered child, I did not understand her limitations so I just got angry. A part of me also was hurt but this was too painful so I just stayed in the angry mode.
With men, I project the image of my father. I want them to love me and when they don’t I keep trying to change their mind. For some reason I don’t get angry with men I just get obsessed.
Then there is shadow projection. The shadow is a Jungian term for the part of ourselves that we do not like. When we are in denial we can only see ourselves in others. The "other" is not necessarily like you at all but just a person in the wrong place at the wrong time.
In recovery, we have to try and recognize when we are projecting. We must ask God to help is see who we are really talking to and separate them from people in our past.
With my son I project the infant on to him. Even though he is 48 all I see is the infant I neglected and now I want to make it up to him. This has resulted in a codependent relationship which was not good for either of us.
I would like to open a discussion on projection and gather some helpful solutions. Please help me with this.