I always thought that when it came to anger, the term "stuffing" was a metaphor. But tonight I really got angry with my partner and I confronted him. That did not do the trick so I got this overwhelming urge go into the kitchen to eat. I started eating and stuffing my mouth with food and my anger at the same time. The problem is that no matter how much food I ate I could not get full and my anger did not go any place.
In the past I would have sought out some innocent bystander and unload on them, but then my recovery kicked in and I found the computer and started typing. You cannot just stop doing something negative you have to find something positive to do.
So I feel a little better now having vented and I was wondering if someone else needed help with stuffing anger. Whatever I say to you I will apply to myself. This is how I learn. I don't really listen to others I listen to myself try to teach others. This is because I am sensitive and get my feelings hurt when I confuse their help with criticism which makes me feel rejected.
So . . . . what is going on with you guys tonight?
I changed my mind. I am going to have a cup of cocoa, take a hot bath and go to bed. I will check in tomorrow and see if anyone gets back to me. Besides my computer is crashing which is God's way of saying take care of myself for a change.
P.S. I am not going to retaliate or sleep in the other room. I am going to sleep next to Frank and snore all night.
Last Edit: Dec 4, 2017 20:13:56 GMT -8 by Susan P.
I'm sorry I didn't see this unfolding sooner. I always tend to think of you as very strong. I forget how hard the holiday's can get sometimes. We're all here for you Susan. I'm angry a lot as well. This weekend I tore my bed apart and threw a bunch of pillows for like 5-6 minutes before stopping because I got winded. I think I even tossed the mattress around for a minute. It's a king too!
I'm always real tense out in the world. It's gotten worse too. This weekend while I was shopping, I had my sunglasses on in the store. That was so I could scope people out without looking like I was staring. I just don't want anyone to mess with me at all while I'm out in the world. I usually carry some kind of defensive weapon as well.
In spite of being so high strung, I'm sweet as pie to work with if you are a store clerk. I went to get a couple loaves of bread and the guy shorted me one. I didn't notice until I got home. I went back and was super chill, showed him the receipt, stated by case. The guy got nervous because I was like a foot taller and he was out of the kind of bread I ordered because it was late in the day.. I was like, no worries my man, just let me get a different one and I pointed to the one I wanted. He quickly relented and I shook his hand as he gave me the loaf. He even threw in a bagel...
What triggered me was Frank wanted to go out and I wanted to stay home. I hate to go out because that triggers my road rage. Whenever I go out I cant wait to get home and God help you if you're standing in my way. Thanks for getting back to me Max. I'll check in tomorrow. IM FEELING BETTER. Hearing from you has calmed me down.
... I hate to go out because that triggers my road rage. Whenever I go out I cant wait to get home ...
I don't blame you for not wanting to go out. This time of year everyone is rushing around and traffic is just terrible in most places. I saw one of the worst accidents I have ever seen around a mall during the holiday season. In 2016, 102 people died in traffic accidents Every Day in america. I don't let this data point keep me from getting groceries, but I'm not eager for any road trips.