"no one will love me the way I really am" will set up relationships so that there is ample evidence of rejection of the true self and support for the false, public self. A professional therapist can help us better understand cognitive distortions and retrain our core beliefs.
I felt that I needed to change for a long time. In some ways I sincerely do need to change. In other ways, I have learned to accept myself, as I am. Sometimes I have to make special effort to forgive myself for being me. My friends, they accept those parts of me that sometimes annoy. If I did not do those things from time to time, I would not be me.
How can I change that I can make good money?
Money is an issue for many people. I have always tried to live well within my means. When I had money I was sadder than when I was poor. I would rather take a cheese sandwich to the park than have a steak in a restaurant.
hwo can I change that I can love myself?
Loving oneself is a journey. It begins with learning about yourself and spending time with yourself. Try taking yourself out on a date to the movies.
how can i change that i can succeed?
How firm or rigid is your definition of success? If you have very strict definitions of success, it can be hard to meet. I consider it a success sometimes to make it through a work day. Sometimes, for me, carefully cooking dinner is a wonderful way to succeed.
hwo can I chane that i attract good people?
I would like to direct you to a wonderful book called "The Missing Piece Meets The Big O". Here is a link to the story
How can I change that I make my life peaceful and happiness?
Be peaceful and practice happiness. I know with time, you will master it. If I could deliver a bottle of peace and happiness to you, I would. Please take good care of yourself.
I had a dream years ago about my mother getting pregnant and I screamed at her "You are going to do to another what you did to me." I woke up screaming. The next day I got into therapy and starting analyzing my dreams. I had a lot of pent of anger at my mother. Some of it was legitimate because she did not like me. But one day when my therapist asked me why I hated my mother so much I blurted out: "When I am angry at her I do not feel so guilty about neglecting my own kids." I realized then that she had become my scapegoat so I decided to forgive her. I continued to process my feelings and as they came up out of my unconscious they dissipated and went out to the universe never to haunt me again.
based on childhood trawma, I did not select frineds wisely, all narssarsit selfish people, never really cared me, just used me ,and take advantage of me.
that deeply affects my life. I knnow my dad died when I was very young, I have a narssarsit mom not trustworthy, so I deeply love friends, and treated frindsly unbeleively good, helped them a lot, treated them from bottom heart, but still selected wrong people, never cared me, just used me, take advatang of me,
now I knew the whole proces, but it is too late, I lost everythng important, my marriage, my dream job.
I dont know the people close to me, I loved deeply, and helped a lot, just treid hard to destroyed me
i read the book of child of narsssist mom, I don think my momi is my scapegoat, my distorted "love concepttion", I was indullged in toxic relationshp, but very very loyal to the toxic person, and sacrifed myself to keep the relationship, If I selected right person, that is wornderful experience, but I selected wrong person, so it is miseraible life..