Susan I'm a little confused, I read P. Melody's book Facing Love Addiction she calls them Avoidant's but In your book addiction to love you call it Narcissism. Are they the same? It seems they are similar?
I started my career in 1982 and relied on the book of David Richo, How to be an Adult. This was before the self-help term love addict came along. David identified the woman who obsessed and feared abandonment as someone with a Borderline Personality Disorder. I used the term love addict. He called the opposite of the love addict, the person who feared love, the narcissist. So this is what I wrote in my book.
Since 1982, many new self-help terms have come along. Melodie Beattie still uses the word codependent. The rest of of us the term love addict. Therapists call love addicts erotomaniacs or someone with an attachment disorder.
Pia Mellody introduced the avoidance addict, love avoidant, etc, which I changed to Ambivalent Love Addict in my work a few years ago. Ambivalence applies to both the love addict and love avoidant. Although it is emotional intimacy they are afraid of not love. This applies to everybody.
We are discovering that the love addict is actually choosing to obsess about unavailable people because they too are avoidants.
I think we should probably go back to the expression "attachment disorder." This covers everyone.
I hope this brief history lesson helps.
1989 first edition
Last Edit: Jul 21, 2015 14:29:17 GMT -8 by Susannah