As much as I try to stay out off male company I cannot. I miss chats and simple convesation.. Or can I be lying to myself? ..,, these 2 days I started decorating rooms. Slowly .. But also I feel lonely there is no one to share my things with, of course on this board... So I did go on dating site. Start speaking with 1 male. I do observe a lot. Bloke ppl or if someone rude ( offering smth) bye bye... Tho I have friend she's is love triangle ... Maybe more if her husband has someone too. I just thinking I had enough off helping guys.. I had enough off being nice and carrying. As in my country says heaven for good girls, but everything for the bad once. I do feel adrenaline flouting and I don't find easy to talk with the guy.. But I thinking less off poa.. I cannot get him out off my brain. It's like a virus eating me alife. Maybe I will never can be on my own.. I need that adrenaline, pain?!
The ambivalence comes from a fear of emotional intimacy stemming from an unhealthy enmeshment [emotional incest] in childhood.
The codependency comes from a desire to please which is a reaction to neglect. In a dysfunctional family unit the child who chooses the codependent path is called the "Hero."
God created a variety of personalities. One of them is the Caretaker [see Myers Briggs]. We must learn to care, but not at our own expanse. In recovery, we must not throw the baby out with the bath water. We need healthy caretakers. I channeled my caretaking into my career and took it out of my romantic life. Works for me. Love your enemy don't marry him. [Addiction to love]