Post by LovelyJune on Jan 13, 2014 14:15:51 GMT -8
I think you did the right thing by coming home, and then staying home. When we are HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired; and a slew of other things) it's not the right time to be focusing on partying or seeking out a love interest. You're right. You end up getting run down. You first.
And speaking of you first…while I understand an obligation to take care of a person who cannot take care of himself or herself (like your grandma), there is only so much you can do for someone who refuses help. And yes. Even if that means possibly letting something bad happen. We cannot save people from themselves. Your business friend is right.
Try to go back to your "organic" mantra. Let things happen organicially. Try not to push fate. I know. It's so hard.
There's this wonderful mantra in an old Irish runes book and I would like to share it. I always loved it, but it never really meant anything to me until I was really ready for it to mean something…
The Harvest Remember the old story about the farmer who was so eager to assist his crops that he went out at night and tugged on the new shoots? There is no way to push the river; equally you cannot hasten the harvest. Be mindful that patience is essential for the recognition of your own process which, in its season, leads to the harvest of the self. --Taken from, The Book of Runes, by Ralph Blum
Last Edit: Jan 13, 2014 14:19:29 GMT -8 by LovelyJune
Post by CodepNomore on Jan 14, 2014 8:14:09 GMT -8
I commend you for being an excellent, loving granddaughter. If my mother were in her position, she would have appreciated and humbly accepted your care, attention, and help. Unfortunately, when she was seeking for the care, attention, and help from her children, no one was there with and for her. How sad. And here you are, in the exact opposite scenario. (Life has its own mysterious ways. We are so similar and yet so different.) Anyways, you have done your ‘role’ so well. You will be rewarded. That is it. Leave her part to her. You can only do so much.
I used to ask why when I finally learned the importance of caring for the elderly my mom was already gone. Then the Spirit in me comforted me with this thought: those times that no one was available for her, she learned to rely on her inner Strength to sustain her. In her weakness, her faith grew strong. Those sufferings she had were part of the thorns in her life that would bear rewards for her in afterlife.
When it comes to receiving help, it takes humility for some to accept it. I was like your grandma before I seldom accept what I am being offered and I am so self-sufficient. In fact, I have been training so hard now so when I become older I would not need anyone to help me carry my luggage for me. Hah! However, I learned that if it makes the giver feel valued and appreciated then take it. It is an act of love for both the giver and the receiver. Nevertheless, it should not be forced or obligated but done voluntarily.
In conclusion, I am glad you chose what was right and best for you: to meet your needs first by taking care of you.
Your recovery is worth the pain of your withdrawal. Remember that "the pain you feel today will be the strength you feel tomorrow." Fantasy-based relationship is a lie. Face your reality and stay well!Kind Regards to all LAA members here, - Codepnomore