Post by ilovemenow71 on Feb 3, 2011 16:50:06 GMT -8
Epiphany after reading a Robin Norwood affirmation-daily reflection(January 5th I believe): Rejection is Shameful for Me. As a love addict, codependent and torch bearer I instictively place someone (in my mind) above me in all ways if they reject me. Inside a relationship or outside of one. I have a sneaky and subtle way of automatically putting my self down and benath my POA if this happens. Because my self esteem is so low and has been since I was a child, the Seductive Withholder and Narcissist POA meets a sick and twisted need of mine-to feel real and okay.
How do I do this? I tell my self if he is rejecting me or putting me down that must mean he is normal. Therefore in my distorted thinking this means he is superior to me. But this is a lie and an old tape that needs to be re-recorded with the TRUTH.
I am a loveable, worthy, beautiful person and I deserve to accept the truth. He is also sick and therefore not 'normal' or healthy. So, why in the world am I putting him on a peddestal? Because it is self serving-'I have someone better than my self and my self is no good.' LIES!
Today I choose to see him as he really is and take responsibility for me and my well being as well as my increased self esteem. Today I choose not to be put down, but only to love my self.